FAREWELL
Dear dear readers, I am afraid I am putting an end to this blog of mine. It no longer serves the need that spawned it (or perhaps that need no longer exists), and it is pathetically limping along…at best. Without the daily imperative to write I enjoyed at school, there is just so little life here.
Rather than forestalling its inevitable demise, I think it is time to lay it to rest with its remaining dignity intact. Ok fine, just lay it to rest then. I may post occasional news through the NV system, but nothing more on the www. I am working on the concept for a new blog, which I will obviously plug until you can’t stand it anymore once it is underway. In the meantime, you can track my movements (somewhat) by checking in on my flickr page from time to time.
As for me, my job hunt intensifies. For a variety of reasons, I am now solely focused on New York, and am already spending a good deal of time there, though I have yet to relocate permanently. I’m sure you will all be through that city sooner or later, and I hope to see you when that that happens.
It’s been a dream to have you as an audience. As always, I hope this finds you well, and would love to know what’s going on where you are.
-cca
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Monday, January 15, 2007
WELCOME TO 2007
Ok, so it started a while ago, but it’s hard to say much about a new year from a few days.
I don’t know about you, but I think 2007 is pretty good so far. Apart from getting frostbite, and learning that I may not get feeling back in my toes for 6-12 months, I’ve been having a ball. I turned 30, out here in Jackson Hole, and have been skiing pretty much every day…skipping a few when the mercury dropped too far below zero and risk of aggravating my cold-induced condition was a bit high for comfort.
I’ve been lucky to have a stream of friends and family around me, and make some new friends as well out here, but the trip is coming to and end…a combination of very low temperatures, lack of new snow on the horizon, and a crazy feeling that I need to get back to earnestly figuring out the next step in my life have convinced me to abandoned my winter wonderland for a more urban environment.
The two concrete plans I’ve made are 1) to self-publish the date-story book quoted much earlier in this blog, and 2) to see a life coach. So I have those lined up when I leave on Wednesday. I’ve also applied to a few jobs, of which I will say nothing until it seems like they might materialize.
In the meantime, I’ve fully adjusted to a post-Russian Standard life of flying commercial, doing my own laundry, cooking for myself, and, basically, living like a normal person. It’s been a smooth transition, and I’m feeling good about it all.
So this entry is basically fluff, I know, but, well, sometimes there just isn’t too much to rant and rave about.
I hope 2007 is off to a great start for all of you as well.
Ok, so it started a while ago, but it’s hard to say much about a new year from a few days.
I don’t know about you, but I think 2007 is pretty good so far. Apart from getting frostbite, and learning that I may not get feeling back in my toes for 6-12 months, I’ve been having a ball. I turned 30, out here in Jackson Hole, and have been skiing pretty much every day…skipping a few when the mercury dropped too far below zero and risk of aggravating my cold-induced condition was a bit high for comfort.
I’ve been lucky to have a stream of friends and family around me, and make some new friends as well out here, but the trip is coming to and end…a combination of very low temperatures, lack of new snow on the horizon, and a crazy feeling that I need to get back to earnestly figuring out the next step in my life have convinced me to abandoned my winter wonderland for a more urban environment.
The two concrete plans I’ve made are 1) to self-publish the date-story book quoted much earlier in this blog, and 2) to see a life coach. So I have those lined up when I leave on Wednesday. I’ve also applied to a few jobs, of which I will say nothing until it seems like they might materialize.
In the meantime, I’ve fully adjusted to a post-Russian Standard life of flying commercial, doing my own laundry, cooking for myself, and, basically, living like a normal person. It’s been a smooth transition, and I’m feeling good about it all.
So this entry is basically fluff, I know, but, well, sometimes there just isn’t too much to rant and rave about.
I hope 2007 is off to a great start for all of you as well.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
HOLIDAY RUN-UP
Well, the holidays are upon us (the Judeo-Christian holidays anyway…. with our group “the holidays are upon us” is probably always true in one corner of the world or another). So, now, instead of writing about how many problems we all have, I am making a schizophrenic leap to writing about how fucking lucky we all are.
I, like probably all of you, have a fairly complicated and conflicted attitude towards philanthropy, all the more so having made the transition from social entrepreneur/NGO director to MBA (going from “business is the enemy” to “business is the answer” and now finding myself taking a bit from column A and a bit from column B). Nonetheless, there is no denying that we are all among the most fortunate people in the world...even those of us unemployed/saddled with debt. Think of how few people are even CAPABLE of piling up that much debt? Hehehe.
There was a fascinating article in the New York Times Magazine this week by a professor of philosophy from Princeton (Peter Singer) who was advancing a theory about how much of their worth people in the developed world should donate to help alleviate poverty in the developing world and all of the death, disease and all its other resultant tragedies. As a jumping off point, it used the same position that is the guiding principle of the Gates Foundation: “All lives- no matter where they are being led- have equal value.” From there, he examines certain actions to see how well they support the acceptance of that assertion. For example, if you are walking by a drowning child, even if you didn’t push him into the water, do you have a moral obligation to save him, assuming it would be easy to do so? Most of us would say yes. Well, what about if saving him would ruin a pair of $200 shoes (he used $90, but I know you guys)? Still, the answer would be yes. Well then, if there is an inoculation that would save the life of a child in a developing country that costs LESS than $200 and there is a way to ensure that by supplying the cost of that inoculation, the child would receive it, are we any LESS obligated to pay for that inoculation than we are to save the drowning child and ruin our shoes?
I'm not going to try to answer that question for anyone but myself, but no harm can come from each of us considering it.
Needless to say, there’s a lot more in the article, and you can reads the whole thing here if you like: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/17/magazine/17charity.t.html?_r=1&oref=slogin .
I just thought I’d throw that out...we should always be aware of how good we have things, and always be on the lookout for ways to make the world a better place, but now is traditionally a time for this sort of reflection, and, well, what can I say. I’m a sucker for tradition.
Well, the holidays are upon us (the Judeo-Christian holidays anyway…. with our group “the holidays are upon us” is probably always true in one corner of the world or another). So, now, instead of writing about how many problems we all have, I am making a schizophrenic leap to writing about how fucking lucky we all are.
I, like probably all of you, have a fairly complicated and conflicted attitude towards philanthropy, all the more so having made the transition from social entrepreneur/NGO director to MBA (going from “business is the enemy” to “business is the answer” and now finding myself taking a bit from column A and a bit from column B). Nonetheless, there is no denying that we are all among the most fortunate people in the world...even those of us unemployed/saddled with debt. Think of how few people are even CAPABLE of piling up that much debt? Hehehe.
There was a fascinating article in the New York Times Magazine this week by a professor of philosophy from Princeton (Peter Singer) who was advancing a theory about how much of their worth people in the developed world should donate to help alleviate poverty in the developing world and all of the death, disease and all its other resultant tragedies. As a jumping off point, it used the same position that is the guiding principle of the Gates Foundation: “All lives- no matter where they are being led- have equal value.” From there, he examines certain actions to see how well they support the acceptance of that assertion. For example, if you are walking by a drowning child, even if you didn’t push him into the water, do you have a moral obligation to save him, assuming it would be easy to do so? Most of us would say yes. Well, what about if saving him would ruin a pair of $200 shoes (he used $90, but I know you guys)? Still, the answer would be yes. Well then, if there is an inoculation that would save the life of a child in a developing country that costs LESS than $200 and there is a way to ensure that by supplying the cost of that inoculation, the child would receive it, are we any LESS obligated to pay for that inoculation than we are to save the drowning child and ruin our shoes?
I'm not going to try to answer that question for anyone but myself, but no harm can come from each of us considering it.
Needless to say, there’s a lot more in the article, and you can reads the whole thing here if you like: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/17/magazine/17charity.t.html?_r=1&oref=slogin .
I just thought I’d throw that out...we should always be aware of how good we have things, and always be on the lookout for ways to make the world a better place, but now is traditionally a time for this sort of reflection, and, well, what can I say. I’m a sucker for tradition.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
WEEKEND REPORT
I’ve realized pretty quickly that one of the worst things about being unemployed is the same as one of the worst things about having a job. When you are either employed or unemployed, that’s what people want to talk about. And the only thing more boring to talk about than your job is your lack of job/job search.
I’m getting tired of answering the “so, what are you going to do now?” “Oh, I sending stuff out…I applied for this one thing, talked to some people, thinking about a few different areas…” I have NOTHING against the people who ask these questions…they only ask them ONCE, but I answer them 500 times.
So, today, just so I could have something different to talk about, I responded to a request by a good friend of mine (she just had a baby). So, today, if you asked what I did, instead of saying any of the above, I would have answered you “well, I recorded an ambient-electro-lullaby cover of “When Doves Cry” by Prince with a good friend who I was in a band with when I was 11.”
Really?
“Yeah, well, I hadn’t done much music work since I shut down my record label, and, well, I’ve had some free time, and so when my friend asked me to record a version of that song, I said sure.”
So there it is…that’s now how I’m killing my time. Actually, truth be told, when you are used to doing things, and all of a sudden have nothing to do, it’s nice to have a tight little project, and finish it. It makes you feel good. And gives you something else to talk about for a while…well, a day anyway.
If you want to check it out, here it is, but I’ll warn you in advance, I sing on the track.
When Doves Cry....sort of
I’ve realized pretty quickly that one of the worst things about being unemployed is the same as one of the worst things about having a job. When you are either employed or unemployed, that’s what people want to talk about. And the only thing more boring to talk about than your job is your lack of job/job search.
I’m getting tired of answering the “so, what are you going to do now?” “Oh, I sending stuff out…I applied for this one thing, talked to some people, thinking about a few different areas…” I have NOTHING against the people who ask these questions…they only ask them ONCE, but I answer them 500 times.
So, today, just so I could have something different to talk about, I responded to a request by a good friend of mine (she just had a baby). So, today, if you asked what I did, instead of saying any of the above, I would have answered you “well, I recorded an ambient-electro-lullaby cover of “When Doves Cry” by Prince with a good friend who I was in a band with when I was 11.”
Really?
“Yeah, well, I hadn’t done much music work since I shut down my record label, and, well, I’ve had some free time, and so when my friend asked me to record a version of that song, I said sure.”
So there it is…that’s now how I’m killing my time. Actually, truth be told, when you are used to doing things, and all of a sudden have nothing to do, it’s nice to have a tight little project, and finish it. It makes you feel good. And gives you something else to talk about for a while…well, a day anyway.
If you want to check it out, here it is, but I’ll warn you in advance, I sing on the track.
When Doves Cry....sort of
Friday, December 08, 2006
The Unemployment Report: Week 3
First of all, thanks to everyone for your expressions of support, sympathy, well wishing and everything else. It really has meant so much to me, and helped me keep my resolve.
I was amazed by how many people shared similar frustrations about their own jobs (isn’t it funny, no matter how many times we learn it’s not true, we still feel like we’re the only ones with the same problems) and were contemplating a similar move (or already had made one). Job frustration is not something that shows up on the post-INSEAD employment surveys we all get fed, so I think it came as a shock to many of us. For those of you who love your jobs, congratulations and continued happiness. Yours is a rare gift it seems. For those of you who don’t, I’m sorry. I hope things come right…and trust your instincts.
Well, I’m starting to get vaguely excited about job search 2.0. As I’m fond of [only half-sarcastically] saying recently, being single, unemployed, living with my parents (well for another 4 days), and turning 30 this month, SOMETHING needs to change. Many people like to tell me that persistence is crucial to solving life’s problems. I think for the job, that’s probably true….more effort yields more results, but as all of us who found our first post-MBA jobs to be not what we expected now know, it needs to be an elegant, sensitive persistence, not a beating-on-doors persistence.
As for persistence being the cure for single-hood, my mind is mixed. I do think most people end up with the person they end up with either because they chase after them and wear down their resistance, or are chased after and likewise worn down. You need the supreme effort on behalf of one party to establish the weight that ultimately anchors the relationship (the one side is unwilling to give up their hard-won prize, and the other, once won over, realizes how much effort went into the courtship). In my case however, I don’t think persistence is the answer. I’m not really one of those people who slowly let their personality out (as Chris Rock puts it, in most cases when you go on a first date with someone, you’re not meeting them, you’re meeting their representative). If you like me on day 1, you’ll like me on day 1000. On the other hand, if you don’t really like me on day 1, it’s not gonna get any better no matter how hard I try to convince you.
Anyway, I’m not looking for an immediate desinglization. With my luck, I’d meet someone who didn’t like snow and ruin the only concrete plan I have right now.
As for turning 30, well, I’ve explored the alternatives, and I’ve decided to just go ahead with it.
First of all, thanks to everyone for your expressions of support, sympathy, well wishing and everything else. It really has meant so much to me, and helped me keep my resolve.
I was amazed by how many people shared similar frustrations about their own jobs (isn’t it funny, no matter how many times we learn it’s not true, we still feel like we’re the only ones with the same problems) and were contemplating a similar move (or already had made one). Job frustration is not something that shows up on the post-INSEAD employment surveys we all get fed, so I think it came as a shock to many of us. For those of you who love your jobs, congratulations and continued happiness. Yours is a rare gift it seems. For those of you who don’t, I’m sorry. I hope things come right…and trust your instincts.
Well, I’m starting to get vaguely excited about job search 2.0. As I’m fond of [only half-sarcastically] saying recently, being single, unemployed, living with my parents (well for another 4 days), and turning 30 this month, SOMETHING needs to change. Many people like to tell me that persistence is crucial to solving life’s problems. I think for the job, that’s probably true….more effort yields more results, but as all of us who found our first post-MBA jobs to be not what we expected now know, it needs to be an elegant, sensitive persistence, not a beating-on-doors persistence.
As for persistence being the cure for single-hood, my mind is mixed. I do think most people end up with the person they end up with either because they chase after them and wear down their resistance, or are chased after and likewise worn down. You need the supreme effort on behalf of one party to establish the weight that ultimately anchors the relationship (the one side is unwilling to give up their hard-won prize, and the other, once won over, realizes how much effort went into the courtship). In my case however, I don’t think persistence is the answer. I’m not really one of those people who slowly let their personality out (as Chris Rock puts it, in most cases when you go on a first date with someone, you’re not meeting them, you’re meeting their representative). If you like me on day 1, you’ll like me on day 1000. On the other hand, if you don’t really like me on day 1, it’s not gonna get any better no matter how hard I try to convince you.
Anyway, I’m not looking for an immediate desinglization. With my luck, I’d meet someone who didn’t like snow and ruin the only concrete plan I have right now.
As for turning 30, well, I’ve explored the alternatives, and I’ve decided to just go ahead with it.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
HAPPY [day after] THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!
The last time I wrote (lo those many weeks ago) I was describing adjusting to life at my first job post INSEAD. Now, I’m writing to describe adjusting to life after my first job post INSEAD. Yes, that’s right, I’ve joined that elite group of people from our class already enjoying our SECOND stint of unemployment not 6 months after graduation. Having just come from a screening of Borat, I can only describe it as “nayice!”
Without going into boring detail, I found that I was expected to be more and more of a traveling secretary as the days wore on (confirmed by the fact that two days after I left, I was replaced by….my boss’ secretary!). Since I wasn’t very interested in being a secretary before business school, I am decidedly less so after. So I’m back on the market.
It was fun while it lasted…in less than 7 weeks, I went to Moscow (4 times), St. Petersburg, Rome, Sardinia (twice), Trieste (twice), New York, Miami, London, Goa, Mumbai, Jaipur, Agra, New Delhi, the Maldives, Livorno, Munich, Berlin, and Zurich. It was a wild ride…sometimes too wild. For one stretch of travel, I went 3 days, between the US, London, and India, without sleeping, showering, or getting dressed on land…while I used to think showering on a plane would be a luxury, when it becomes necessary, it’s anything but. Believe me. Anyway, as wild and interesting as all the travel was, it wasn’t enough to distract me from the fact that more and more my main responsibilities had nothing to do with my experience, intelligence, or anything else that I was particularly proud of. So…it ended. C’est la vie.
There is one detail in all this that you might all find mildly interesting. Once in the Maldives, discussing my frustrations with my boss over a glass of 1943 Armagnac, he told me that he thought that INSEAD spoiled people (that’s right, INSEAD, not the guy buying me Armagnac from 1943), that it made us want to graduate and take jobs at McKinsey or Goldman Sachs where we had a little responsibility, no real risk, but were assured of a comfortable life. I thought that was interesting…I agree that INSEAD boosted our expectations and gave us confidence, but I don’t really feel spoiled (privileged for sure, spoiled less so). Nonetheless, I remember a classmate of ours telling me that after graduation, despite having a good job and being in a good relationship, that she still felt a lot of tension and apprehension about the future, and her parents told her “that school gives you unreasonable expectations.” So there are some older people out there who share that view. Are we just being naïve? Whattya think?
So what’s my next move??? Well, after long and careful consideration, this is what I’ve come up with: I’m going skiing. If anyone wants to join me, you’re more than welcome. I’ll be in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, from whenever they get snow (I’m thinking first week of December) until sometime in January. On December 31st, my 30th birthday, I’m taking out a helicopter for the day. These are me plans…. I came up with them quite quickly, so they’re a little rough around the edges, but I think they have promise. If you have any suggestions/modifications, send them along. Oh, and if sometime between now and then you hear about an interesting, non-secretarial job, let me know. I’m in the market…..
The last time I wrote (lo those many weeks ago) I was describing adjusting to life at my first job post INSEAD. Now, I’m writing to describe adjusting to life after my first job post INSEAD. Yes, that’s right, I’ve joined that elite group of people from our class already enjoying our SECOND stint of unemployment not 6 months after graduation. Having just come from a screening of Borat, I can only describe it as “nayice!”
Without going into boring detail, I found that I was expected to be more and more of a traveling secretary as the days wore on (confirmed by the fact that two days after I left, I was replaced by….my boss’ secretary!). Since I wasn’t very interested in being a secretary before business school, I am decidedly less so after. So I’m back on the market.
It was fun while it lasted…in less than 7 weeks, I went to Moscow (4 times), St. Petersburg, Rome, Sardinia (twice), Trieste (twice), New York, Miami, London, Goa, Mumbai, Jaipur, Agra, New Delhi, the Maldives, Livorno, Munich, Berlin, and Zurich. It was a wild ride…sometimes too wild. For one stretch of travel, I went 3 days, between the US, London, and India, without sleeping, showering, or getting dressed on land…while I used to think showering on a plane would be a luxury, when it becomes necessary, it’s anything but. Believe me. Anyway, as wild and interesting as all the travel was, it wasn’t enough to distract me from the fact that more and more my main responsibilities had nothing to do with my experience, intelligence, or anything else that I was particularly proud of. So…it ended. C’est la vie.
There is one detail in all this that you might all find mildly interesting. Once in the Maldives, discussing my frustrations with my boss over a glass of 1943 Armagnac, he told me that he thought that INSEAD spoiled people (that’s right, INSEAD, not the guy buying me Armagnac from 1943), that it made us want to graduate and take jobs at McKinsey or Goldman Sachs where we had a little responsibility, no real risk, but were assured of a comfortable life. I thought that was interesting…I agree that INSEAD boosted our expectations and gave us confidence, but I don’t really feel spoiled (privileged for sure, spoiled less so). Nonetheless, I remember a classmate of ours telling me that after graduation, despite having a good job and being in a good relationship, that she still felt a lot of tension and apprehension about the future, and her parents told her “that school gives you unreasonable expectations.” So there are some older people out there who share that view. Are we just being naïve? Whattya think?
So what’s my next move??? Well, after long and careful consideration, this is what I’ve come up with: I’m going skiing. If anyone wants to join me, you’re more than welcome. I’ll be in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, from whenever they get snow (I’m thinking first week of December) until sometime in January. On December 31st, my 30th birthday, I’m taking out a helicopter for the day. These are me plans…. I came up with them quite quickly, so they’re a little rough around the edges, but I think they have promise. If you have any suggestions/modifications, send them along. Oh, and if sometime between now and then you hear about an interesting, non-secretarial job, let me know. I’m in the market…..
Monday, October 16, 2006
OK, by stories/anecdotes, I did NOT mean one-line emails such as “wow sounds cool” or “I hate you”. Particularly not the second variety. I didn’t like those. ONE person wrote a very interesting reply, which I will quote from below, because it’s exactly the sort of thing I wish I’d written, but, since she did, I don’t have to. Sweet.
I feel like I need to write- again to follow up my last post with something more realistic….and to round out the description of my life. It’s 12:30 Sunday night, and I am just calling it quits on work today…I hope. Some of you may complain about 70-80-90 hour weeks, but I am technically on call all the time, so I work a 168 hour week. Deal with that. We got back to Moscow last night at 12:30, and had to be at an office nightclub party, which I went to straight from the airport…can you imagine the hardship???? In Moscow, people get very dressed up to go out, so me in orange Nikes, non-fancy jeans, a t0shirt, and sports jacket (sports as in athletic, not like a blazer) was a site for the doorman. Oh well.
So, here’s a paragraph from the email I referred to (edited for privacy):
“Finally post INSEAD personal life…….. Friendships - I am not sure yet how the INSEAD dynamic is going to play out. I spoke to a friend recently who graduated from INSEAD two years ago, and she told me that the people she hangs out the most with are those that were her friends pre-INSEAD. She still says INSEAD was one of the best years of her life and she wouldn’t change it for the world, and she met great people there,…but just as it happens, she doesn’t see them that often anymore….That made me think. I have been back for two weeks and I do find myself seeing my old friends again A LOT! I guess it is a function of being back in the old city, but nevertheless I do hope things will be different. I do believe INSEAD has changed most of us, in one way or another. For some it meant gaining confidence (you know who you are), for some it meant becoming outspoken, for some it meant realizing they are not as ‘hot’ as they thought they were, for others it meant long lasting friendships or simply an insight into French culture…..and yes of course academic studies as well…..Lets not forget all of that! So, I say as hard as it is, let’s try and keep in touch and grab drinks when we can. Lets share our experiences, and while I realize we will all be running around all corners of the globe, we still have something that connects us and lets keep building on it!”
Isn’t that nice? I think it’s great. It made me think that that without effort, it's quite easy to write off relationships that so recently seemed so important and meaningful as consequences of proximity and convenience and nothing more. I do not believe that's the case at all, but more often than not efforts at preservation are one-sided, and it's a shame. I worry that if I don’t see someone in Skype when I have downtime, I may let things slip, and I definitely don’t want to do that, 168 hour work weeks notwithstanding.
From Russia, With Love,
cca
I feel like I need to write- again to follow up my last post with something more realistic….and to round out the description of my life. It’s 12:30 Sunday night, and I am just calling it quits on work today…I hope. Some of you may complain about 70-80-90 hour weeks, but I am technically on call all the time, so I work a 168 hour week. Deal with that. We got back to Moscow last night at 12:30, and had to be at an office nightclub party, which I went to straight from the airport…can you imagine the hardship???? In Moscow, people get very dressed up to go out, so me in orange Nikes, non-fancy jeans, a t0shirt, and sports jacket (sports as in athletic, not like a blazer) was a site for the doorman. Oh well.
So, here’s a paragraph from the email I referred to (edited for privacy):
“Finally post INSEAD personal life…….. Friendships - I am not sure yet how the INSEAD dynamic is going to play out. I spoke to a friend recently who graduated from INSEAD two years ago, and she told me that the people she hangs out the most with are those that were her friends pre-INSEAD. She still says INSEAD was one of the best years of her life and she wouldn’t change it for the world, and she met great people there,…but just as it happens, she doesn’t see them that often anymore….That made me think. I have been back for two weeks and I do find myself seeing my old friends again A LOT! I guess it is a function of being back in the old city, but nevertheless I do hope things will be different. I do believe INSEAD has changed most of us, in one way or another. For some it meant gaining confidence (you know who you are), for some it meant becoming outspoken, for some it meant realizing they are not as ‘hot’ as they thought they were, for others it meant long lasting friendships or simply an insight into French culture…..and yes of course academic studies as well…..Lets not forget all of that! So, I say as hard as it is, let’s try and keep in touch and grab drinks when we can. Lets share our experiences, and while I realize we will all be running around all corners of the globe, we still have something that connects us and lets keep building on it!”
Isn’t that nice? I think it’s great. It made me think that that without effort, it's quite easy to write off relationships that so recently seemed so important and meaningful as consequences of proximity and convenience and nothing more. I do not believe that's the case at all, but more often than not efforts at preservation are one-sided, and it's a shame. I worry that if I don’t see someone in Skype when I have downtime, I may let things slip, and I definitely don’t want to do that, 168 hour work weeks notwithstanding.
From Russia, With Love,
cca
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